How to afterparty with the incrowd

How to afterparty with the incrowd

Voor de IFFR-festivalversie van de Filmkrant, Filmrant, schreef ik als ‘entertainment editor’ een verslag van het premierefeestje van David Verbeeks How to describe a Cloud.

For days, I’ve been searching for inside juice at IFFR. Visiting filmparties, casually handing out drinks, asking: ‘any gossip?’ only to return home with decent journalism. Surely, the afterparty of the premiere of a handsome young lad like David Verbeek would offer some intriguing insights into the movie world. I’ve been promised he parties like a rockstar and so I calmly shadow him to ‘The Beurs’, the café where he will take his hippie friends and Chinese moviestars.

The afterparty is an important ritual where everybody dances around the totem, the film, and bows humbly to the chief, David. He and his friends are now in a friendly time vacuum where the film is out, but only yet shown to people who will be ridiculously enthusiastic. Everbody just tumbles over each other to state
that this is really his best film yet (imagine how sad it would be if the afterparty brought he conclusion that really, the director is on his way down).

‘Does anyone have any idea on how to describe clouds now?’ I ask.
‘Of course not’, a guy with a big fur hat replies, ‘that’s just not what this is about. I would call this movie Cloudspotting.’ ‘Hmm’, I humm as if I understand.
‘Some people say clouds are collections of H2O. Others say, they are the dreams of the ocean. That is the essence.’

I decide to get one of the excentric friends a big rum and coke and interrogate him.
‘Yes. Davids philosophy has become more introverted, now. We’ve seen his true message tear out, in the last part. It’s a seed that has started to sprout.’
Seed. Sprout. Get it.
Another friend of Davids: ‘I really think that, you know, like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air brought hiphop to the white people, David is bringing Asia to us in Europe. He’s making it fit for us.’

Finally I find Maarten and Steven at the bar, David’s former neighbour kids. They say they’ve grown up together.
‘Really, David was a bully when we were little.’ Maarten says.
‘He was, huh? What did he do?’ I ask in my caring voice.
‘It’s not important. It’s good to see he’s doing well. This film is his most mature one.’ Well, duh.
Steven adds: ‘ I have a good anecdote about David! He tought me how to build your own pipe!’
I almost wet myself in excitement.
‘Yeah!? Like how? What age? What did you guys smoke?’
‘I mean a pipe for blowing arrows, you know. That you make from newspapers?’ Yawn.

As I put on my coat to call it a day, David grabs my arm.
‘You’re not leaving are you?’
‘Yes David. Everyone is.’
‘But… we still have to get drunk and use drugs!’ David stomps his feet.
‘No David.’
‘By the way, did you like the movie at all?’
‘Yeah. It was your most mature one so far.’

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